Chi-Town! True Confessions of The Blogrollers' BlogHer '09 or Bust Road Trip

I’m okay people! I (finally) made it back from my big Blogrollers BlogHer ’09 or Bust road trip to Chicago for BlogHer 2009 with Christie of My Life a Work in Progress, Lorraine of Ask Wifey and Jennifer of The Baby Makin(g) Machine. I met my people. I made new friends. I heard—and made!—some thought-provoking speechifying. Put at least five pounds of delicious Chicago vittles on my hips. And lived to tell about it (even with Chatterbox behind the wheel!). Here’s the re-cap:

Day 1: We rolled into Chicago five hours behind schedule. The Chevy Traverse was downright dreamy—lots of room, smooth ride, satellite radio with a solid hip hop station that played The Chronic, A Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, and Bizmarkie, and a video player that rocked the second season of The Dave Chappelle Show. What's not to love? Side-eye at OnStar, though, for getting us all the way to Louisville, KY, only to start giving us blow-by-blow directions—in Spanish. Right. We made it all the way through Indiana and to Michigan the ol’ school way (nods to MapQuest print-outs), only to sit in traffic for three hours wading through barriers set up for President Obama, who was in his hometown the same time as us (I would have stalked, but, you know, you don’t really stalk the president without getting your feelings—and a few other things—hurt). So between the bad directions and the traffic, we missed all the good parties. No biggie, though: We ended up checking out the Chicago sites—the Harbor, the Magnificent Mile, some incredible architecture and street art—and having a kick-booty meal at Bandera, where the steak and the homemade Oreo ice cream dessert made my doggone night. My night, I tell you!

Day 2: I kicked off my conference right, with a stop in on a panel, featuring Cutie Booty Cakes’ Renee Ross (peep those super sexy red shoes she’s sporting!), about how to extend your blogging “tribe.” I appreciated the tips—visit other blogs, connect with people who aren’t like you, get involved in what other bloggers are doing—but I couldn’t help but to feel like there’s STILL a ridiculous amount of divisiveness/segregation in the bloggy world, in which mainstream (re: white-run) blogs that claim to be for all moms speak mostly—if not only—to white moms, and rarely reciprocate visits to/comments on/involvement in blogs run by moms of color who readily and happily support them.

Well, seems I touched a nerve with that one; twitter was abuzz with a few folks suggesting that people are “intimidated” by MyBrownBaby, presumably because the word “brown” is in the title and it features content about moms who are African American. I thought that was an odd little thing to say, particularly since I’ve written quite passionately HERE about how, though MyBrownBaby is written from MY perspective as a black mom, it’s a space that welcomes and encourages the opinions and insight of ALL moms, no matter their color/race/nationality/background/political leanings/big toe size. Needless to say, it got a little hot up in there for a minute, so much so that my girl over at The Prisoner’s Wife, a lovely writer you should get to know, wrote a post about it. Wanna see it? HERE IT GOES.

Anyway, you should know by now that mess like this doesn’t really shake your girl. I went to the Maria Bailey hosted Disney Mom Bloggers Reunion party, where I bonded with the amazing group of women who've all enjoyed the mom magic of Disney, and then headed back to my room, put on some lipstick and my six-inch glamazon platform wedges and high-stepped it over to the Nikon party with co-Blogroller guest Jennifer of the BabyMakin(g)Machine, the beautiful and talented Jennae of Green Your Décor, the uber cute and spunky Sheena of MommyDaddyBlog (who just is incapable of taking a bad picture!) and my girl Katja of Skimbaco Lifestyle, whom I absolutely adore. Carson Kressley was in the house, and a small army of masseuses, hair stylists, and make-up artists were there to pretty up the crowd, but the highlight for me, by far, was Nikon’s drool-worthy new camera, the NIKON D-5000 (its video capabilities and swivel viewfinder make it SO sexy), and Kris, a Nikon photographer who showed me how to use my D-50. I swear, Kris changed my life.

[Sheena of MommyDaddyBlog, getting her top model on]

[Me with Jennifer of The Baby Makin(g) Machine, a.k.a. Young 'Un]

[Me and sweetie pie Katja of Skimbaco Lifestyle]

[My D-50 is cute and all, but this? My dream camera!]

Later, we made our way over to the Macy’s Tower for The Lush Experience with my girls from Mama Law, the lovely Justice Fergie, Justice Ny, and Justice Jonesie. The three are behind the upcoming mom bloggers of color conference, Blogalicious (don’t you just LOVE that name?), coming to Atlanta in October. Their party was the place to be; Afrobella, Corynne Corbett of That Black Girl Site and a lot of other fantastic bloggers of color were in the house, and we all got to sample Lush’s handmade, natural products. Of course, I left with more products than any one woman should ever buy in one trip, including this absolutely deliciously citrus Sexy Peel Soap. Later, we had a sleepover, sans the sleep, at the Justice’s suite, where we polished off desserts and wine from their swanky affair, and talked until the wee hours of the morning. I’m absolutely in love with these women; you MUST make a point of visiting them at Mama Law, and supporting Blogalicious, where I and some other fantastic mom bloggers of color will be speaking.

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Day 3
I kicked off my day watching a spirited panel/talk-it-out fest on marketing to multicultural bloggers. A rundown on the conversation in that room is impossible to do here; I’ll keep top eye out for any videos/audio of the exchanges, which were smart, informative, funny, thought-provoking and eye-opening. Bottom line is: Moms of color are blogging, we have influence and it’s downright foolhardy for companies looking to do business with moms to keep ignoring our divine power and Gucci purses. (Shout out to Karen of CHOOKOOLOONKS, who not only has one of the most amazingly beautiful (visually and poetically) blogs I’ve seen, but also holds it down for us on Momversation, one of my latest obsessions.)

Later, I had a chat with the Pepsico-sponsored Blog Talk Radio show with John Havens, who wanted to know all about why I started MyBrownBaby and just what I meant about that divisiveness comment I made in Friday’s panel. Somehow, we also ended up talking about the whole Skip Gates brouhaha, and then later realized that we lived in neighboring towns when my family was based in South Orange, NJ. Shout-out to John—I really enjoyed our talk about race, diversity, and the “N” word, which extended well beyond the taped show. Keep making it do what it do, John!

Later, still, I signed copies of “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man,” in the BlogHer Expo (it’s STILL No.1 on the New York Times Hardcover Advice Bestseller’s List!), and then had a hearty rib, spinach, and chocolate martini dinner at The Webber Grill with my The Blogroller pals Lorraine of Ask Wifey, Christie of A Work In Progress, Jennifer of The BabyMakin(g) Machine, and Justice Fergie and Justice Jonesie of MamaLaw—the perfect ending to a wonderful weekend.

I’d like to thank The BlogRollers for letting me ride shotgun with them to Chicago—we had such sidesplitting, Thelma & Louise-style fun in that Chevy Traverse, my doggone sides STILL hurt (get the blow-by-blow on Twitter HERE), and I’m so glad for the friendship we forged on our journey. The OnStar ultimately got us back to Georgia safe and sound. I’d also like to extend a special thank you to Disney for the scholarship funds that made my trip to BlogHer possible.

Um, what’s this I hear about BlogHer being in my hometown next year? New York City? Aw, now you know it’s gonna go down!

President Obama, the Handshake, and the Politics of the Playground

By THE PRISONER'S WIFE

So the GOP is up in arms about President Obama shaking the hand of Hugo Chavez, the Venezuelan president, at the Summit of the Americas. Somehow the President’s gesture of civility has been spun into a show of weakness and naiveté. As if his sheer expression of politeness somehow signals to America’s foes that we will fall for the okey doke and open ourselves up to attacks. But seriously, what would Newt Gingrich and his cronies have suggested Obama do? Snub a fellow head of state? Greet Chavez with a slap to the face? Or take the George Bush approach and say something really, really “smart?”

President Obama extended his hand because he knows what many of us have always known; It is better to make friends than enemies. And in order to accomplish what you want, you need to play nice with others. For the first time in years, America’s staunchest foes are lining up for a few minutes with OUR president. Take that Dick Cheney! All the chatter surrounding the infamous handshake made me think about the lessons I try to teach my son about being nice and kind to others.

Before my son settled comfortably into his terrible twos, he was a brawler. I would cringe when we went to the park because he was that kid. You know, the one that takes others’ toys and pushes them off their bike so he can ride it? Yeah, my son was that kid. No matter what I did—time outs, hand-spanking, and lots of long talks—he stared at me blankly with his big brown eyes and commenced to terrorize the playground as soon as his time out was over. Although I was angry with him, all of my pre-pregnancy research prepared me for that phase, when everything is “mine,” even when it's not. So I kept up the time-outs and the talks, and prayed God would speed up his terrible year.

When my son was about two and a half, something changed. His reign of playground terror ended, and he was all of a sudden sharing his toys with others. The first time I saw him sharing, I wanted to shout, "Hallelujah!" Of course, I praised his good deeds, hoping he had officially outgrown his that kid status. After a few relapses, it was official: He had successfully transitioned into a nice kid.



Today, when we go to the park or The Little Gym, my son plays very well with others. Even when he is pushed, or things are taken away from him by other kids, he doesn’t lose his cool; he merely finds something else to play with. Which brings me back to our President. We all know what President Obama means to little brown boys like my son. He shows what is possible, even when there are seemingly insurmountable odds against you. Like President Obama, my son is being raised by a single mother and a host of extended family. My son’s village constantly instills in him how he should behave in different situations. He knows how to say “please” and “thank you,” he knows how to sit still in church (well, most of the time), and he knows when to be loud and rambunctious and when to tone it down. At three, he has mastered the subtle nuances of behaving in different situations.

Even at this stage my son has leaned a lesson that will allow him to traverse several different social circles throughout his life. He has learned that being the nice guy gets you want you want. Being nice means you can play with others, keep your toys, and get little surprises from your mommy. As he grows older, being polite will give him access to scholarships, jobs, raises, and other advancement opportunities. Life will not be easy for my son, but he will be able to carry what we, and other prominent Black folks like President Obama, have taught him throughout his life. And at three, I think my son can teach Newt Gingrich and the GOP a few things about manners.

About our MyBrownBaby contributor:
The Prisoner's Wife blogs anonymously about her experiences raising a son while his father is incarcerated. She is a teacher, writer, and avid music junkie, and mothers over 100 brown babies a day in her classroom before coming home to her own. Check out more of her incredible writing and poetry at The Prisoner's Wife.