Here's To The Good Times: Missing the Baby Onboard

By YAKINI

I was 36.4 weeks along in my pregnancy when it began to sink in that it was nearly over. My doctor wouldn’t let me go more than a week past my due date without inducing me, and so there were anywhere from 3 ½ to 4 ½ weeks remaining.

With the realization that the time had nearly come, I spent a considerable amount of time mulling over the idea that the tiny little being who had been such an intimate part of me for nearly 10 months would soon leave my body. Oh, how quickly the time had passed! I couldn’t help but to feel a little sad when I looked back at the many sweet, special moments I’d experienced during my pregnancy.

This is what I miss, even to this day:

•Feeling his movements throughout the day and night—reassuring me that he was healthy and strong. He was a wildly active boy, and sometimes I would just pull up my shirt, sit back in my chair, and watch him kick and do somersaults.

•Strangers on the street smiling warmly at me as I pass, or striking up conversation

•The people who would get so excited when they felt the baby kick. To see the joy that I am feeling on other people's faces was so moving. Overall, sharing my experience with others was amazing.

•The camaraderie with other pregnant ladies. I loved being able to strike up a conversation about pregnancy or first-time motherhood with perfect strangers, and talking endlessly about everything baby-related

•Oh goodness, having no periods! Heaven.

•Co-workers bringing me delicious food and gifts for the baby. Whether they were new items or hand-me downs, it felt wonderful receiving gifts that were so obviously heartfelt.

•Knowing that I was part of a miracle. Imagine the amazing fete it takes to have a tiny person growing inside of your body. I'll miss the mystery surrounding it all.

•The linea nigra that runs down the center of my belly. I remember being in awe of this same line on my mom when she carried my two younger sisters. This line symbolizes so much to me.

•I'll miss the closeness between my husband Derek and me during this time—the waiting and wondering and fantasizing as we enjoyed couple's time together in the evenings. Having so much alone time with him, planning our life together, and anticipating our new family was priceless.

•Handwashing, folding, and so tenderly putting away baby's socks and onesies and matching outfits and caps, and reading and arranging on my baby’s shelf books filled with dedications from the people who love us.

•Having people quickly bend down to pick things up for me when I dropped something. In general, everyone is so protective and caring, even to the point of hovering. But I didn't mind!

•The anticipation of meeting the baby! This had to be, by far, the most exciting time of my life.

•Eating as much as I could, without worrying about calories, feeling fat, unhealthy, or guilty.

•The bond I share with my baby, and talking quietly to him when we're alone together.

•My pregnant body. I've felt incredibly beautiful and serene throughout this entire pregnancy. The glow is real!



•My co-workers! Oh, how fantastic they'd been to me! They were so excited and involved in the pregnancy; even more special is the fact that they shared the entire pregnancy with me from beginning to end.

•The look of pleasure and wonderment on Derek's face when he interacted with our friends' little children who are bright and loquacious. I couldn’t wait to see him look at our son like that.

•Maternity clothes! So super cute!

•The feeling of carrying the child of the man I love, and who loves me back. There's nothing like it.

•The waddle. Yes, I'll even miss the pregnancy waddle (and the teasing from my co-workers because of said waddle)!

•Eagerly awaiting and reading my weekly BabyCenter.com newsletter, delivered to my inbox on Sundays, and tracking my baby's weekly growth and progress. Joining BabyCenter.com is a MUST for any expectant mom.

•The excitement of going to our third ultrasound appointments—and getting a sneak peak at our baby!

•Knowing that my life would change forever, and the feeling of transitioning into the job title of a lifetime: mother.

Of course, I realized that the greatest gift of all would come at the very end of this long journey, when I got something even better and more precious that anything I could have experienced while pregnant. His name is Chase. And I am in love.


About our MyBrownBaby contributor:
Yakini is a clinical psychologist and freelance lifestyle writer who is the editor-in-chief of the online lifestyle magazine, Girly Home Webzine. She lives in New York City with her husband and their four-month-old son. Check out Yakini's blog, Welcome Baby Chase, and connect with her on Twitter @♥ Chase's Mommy ♥.

If you would like to contribute to MyBrownBaby, email your essays/ideas to Denene at denenemillner at gmail dot com.