Cheetah Girl Gone Wild

I get it: It's never been an easy fete for a child star to make the transition into adult (working) actor, right? I mean, Hollywood Blvd is littered with the broken careers of people who were a very big deal when they were cute and short and smoochy and all, but became about as relevant as a snowsuit on Waikiki Beach the moment puberty hit. (I'm looking at you, Gary Coleman. And you, too, Todd Bridges, Danny Bonaduce, Scott Baio, Tina Yothers, Jaleel White, Corey Haim and Macaulay Culkin. Alla y'all.) So if you were hot at 10, you better figure out how to sizzle at 20, or get real comfortable in the tight, itchy mall security outfit.

One can only guess that this is what singer/actress Kiely Williams of The Cheetah Girls fame was thinking when she poured herself into some sparkly hot pants, pulled out her best stripper moves, and got to extolling the virtues of drunk, unprotected, random sex in her new, decidedly adult single, "Spectacular." Check it:

Last I remember I was face down
Ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off
Even though I'm not sure of his name
He could get it again if he wanted
Cause the sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular (yeaaah)
The sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular

Uh huh. There's more:

You can say what you want but
You can call me a slut but
What he did to me last night felt so good
I must have been on drugs
I hope he used a rubber
Or I'mma be in trouble
Promise I don't remember
Except for rolling over

DEAD. FISH. EYES.

This is the same little girl who starred in The Cheetah Girls movie series—the trio of hugely popular Disney flicks that encouraged little girls to value friendship, follow their dreams, and embrace girl power. My daughters love those movies—so much so that when the second and third Cheetah Girls movies debuted on the Disney Channel, we had our own little Cheetah Girls parties to celebrate. My girls own all three movies, know all the dance moves, their iPods are stuffed with Cheetah Girls music, and they absolutely adore the books, written by our friend Deborah Gregory. And though the flicks have been around for a few years, to this day, whenever they're on TV, Mari and Lila watch them like it's their first time seeing them.

Sooo... how do you go from the fun and super innocent, "The Party's Just Begun" to "ass up, clothes off, broke off" and "I hope he used a rubber or Imma be in trouble?" And, even more, how is it even remotely okay to put an ode to drunk sex—which to a grown ass woman works overtime to condone and damn-near encourage men liquoring up women so they can get uncommitted, raw random booty without too much of a fight (in a court of law, this is called DATE RAPE)—up on a site that little girls visit on the regular? YES! The girl put the video on her website, KielysWorld.com—the same place where she gives (surprisingly good) video advice to young girls. How, exactly, am I suppose to explain "Spectacular" to, say, Mari, at age 11? Because really, it wouldn't be too far out of the realm for Mari to Google this fool, land on what she and I would think is a safe site, and end up getting an eye- and ear-full of mess my 11-year-old isn't ready to see or hear and I'm not ready to explain.

Thanks, Kiely. Way to educate the kids.

Now Kiely released a video statement HERE claiming that she was simply telling a story—one that's familiar to 20-something's everywhere. Girls go out, get drunk, and sometimes sleep with guys they don't know. "I wrote 'Spectacular' and made the video to bring attention to a serious women's health and safety issue. Please don't shoot the messenger,” she added.

Right.

So singing about how "spectacular" it is to have drunk, unprotected sex with a random dude who's name she doesn't know is a public service announcement? For what? The quickest way to get HIV? Raped? Pregnant? Called a ho?

Thanks, girl. Good lookin' out for my girls. Just the message they need.

Um, so look: If this is how we stay relevant these days, Kiely, go for it: Get your edgy, wanna-be Lady Gaga on, do the Beyonce half-naked booty pop, rip out your soul and lay it at the altar of a Timbaland Euro beat—do what you can to keep the kitchen cabinets stocked with something other than Ramen Noodles. But really, girl: Leave the babies out of it. At least have the decency to admit the song sucks, the message sucks harder, and you just did it to avoid having to kick rocks for the rest of your life.

And then go kick rocks.