Monday, October 19, 2009

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby!

My talk with my mom about menstruation went something like this:

Me: “Mommy? We learned about periods in health class today. The teacher said we should get this kit. It comes with books and pads and stuff.”

My mom: “Okay.”

Uh, huh. That was the end of the conversation. She ordered the kit for me -- it came with three books about puberty and an assortment of pads and tampons -- and when it arrived, she handed it to me and we never talked about periods again. I was 13 when I finally got mine; I was at my uncle’s house on a weekend visit, and spent half of Saturday and most of Sunday with wads of toilet tissue stuffed in my panties, too embarrassed to ask my uncle for help, and later, too embarrassed to tell my mother about it. My mom didn’t find out, either, until after she realized I’d used up all the pads in my “kit.”

She was hurt. I could tell from the look in her eyes.

It’s a pain that I never want to feel with my own daughters -- that much I know. I made a vow when each of my babies was born that I would be honest with them, that no matter how hard/embarrassing/uncomfortable the conversation, I’d do my best to make them feel like they could ask or talk to me about anything.


To read how I make the most of my sex conversations with Mari and Lila, click HERE to check out my latest blog on The Parenting Post.

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  1. I hear you. My mom showed me the plastic layered human body in the medical book then told me that a man loves a woman and a woman loves a man and God loves them and they have a child. That was it. I was 11. When I was 15, my boyfriend told me about the biology of it. I bet we could get a pretty powerful anthology of stories from women on this subject.
    Jo Ann Hernandez
    BronzeWord Latino Authors

  2. PREACH!

    Thank God for PBS (Public Broadcasting Service) or I wouldn't have known what to do when I got my period at 10. One of the consequences of being raised by your great-grandmother.

    I agree with Jo Ann about the anthology, lol.

  3. So true...despite my own embarrassment and discomfort about having "the talk" with my oldest, once I got started talking it was surprisingly easy. Thank goodness I started talking to her about it early. She got her period years before I got mine. She knew exactly what was happening...and we were able to celebrate her entry into "womanhood."

  4. Child I was raised by my grandmother so that was certainly a taboo subject. My girls are all squared away but we still talk about things and it's great. I'm so excited that they know they can come to me. Plus I had some great advice from women in the bloggyverse when it came to this subject. As the saying goes, "It takes a village to raise a child".

  5. I did not get ANYTHING about that subject from my mother growing up. When the day finally came she sent me to my older sister. I started very early discussing this subject with my girls. Now in the times we live in we have to have to oral sex discussion in elementary school. My girls were pretty devastated when I gave them the truth about that. I think parents must always be honest and tell thier kids everything with no sugar-coating. You are a great mom Denene!!

  6. That's crazy how similar our experiences were! Almost exactly the same except I was 10 and at great grama's when it happened and still my mama can't figure out why i didn't tell her. Hello, u didn't want to talk to me about it!

    Melina is gettin her talk early.

  7. My mom wasn't bad about it... but she did let a DVD explain it to us and then we asked questions at the end. She obviously wasn't comfortable about it but she tried. I don't have a girl (yet) but i know its gonna be uncomfortable but I'll be ready!

  8. Ooo...this was stand out chapter in my life too. It was called "it" on the school playground. So you know how this goes. I go to the restroom one day, see that something is terribly wrong, but soon realize it's... "IT" (dun da dun dun!) so I shut my eyes real hard, pray "it" away, open them and it's still there. After doing this 3 times, realizing it wasn't going to make a differnce, I finally go tell my grandmother what was happening. She was on the phone with FATHER DAN when she said, "Oh Lawd, Robert (my grandfather) take Nicky to the store to get some Kotex! She done started her monthly. Father Dan! Father Dan! my baby's baby not a baby no mo!" Talk about embarrassment! I had to see Father Dan EVERY Sunday! I felt really weird around my grampy for a minute there too. Heck! I felt weird about myself. And, I know it was the talk of the church! I just know it! On top of that, I was only 9!

  9. My mother and I didn't have these talks either. Now we do this point, I think I know everything. Being that she and I didn't talk is probably why I have trouble with the tough subjects with my daughter. I need to man up, eh?

  10. Me and my mom are open. even though we dont talk always because she is always busy on her job.My mom told that I have to tell her if got my period so that she can teach me what to do. To cut the story short i got my period when i was 13 i was so embarrassed that time, but she was there to comfort me. Thats why when i finish my schooling i want to be like her, working in elisa kits manufacruter, and I will be like her very responsible to our family.


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