Thursday, April 15, 2010

To Hell With Marriage Vows



I've been itching to write about all this cheating husband mess running all up and through Hollywood, but my girl/co-author Mitzi of the hysterical Mitzi Moments said all that needs to be said on the subject and then some:

It looks like the state of marriage continues to rapidly deteriorate. Not only did lameass Tiki Barber leave his pregnant wife of 11 years for an intern but it seems Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon's husband has also been outted for his five-year affair. So how many celebrity husbands are in the shit house behind women probably not worth the gum on the bottom of my shoe: Steve Phillips, Tiger Woods, Shaq, Jesse James, Tiki Barber... Nice, very nice.

Keep it classy ya'll.

But not for nothing, there's been such a varied response to the cheating by all the wives. Don't ya think? Let's see: ESPN analyst Steve Phillips' wife sued him and homegirl; Elin chased Tiger's ass with a golf club; Shaunie O'Neal snatched the kids and went to LA; Sandra straight disappeared; Ginny Barber immediately started crying to the press, and; good 'ole Garcelle... Well Ms. Thang sent a damn email to the ENTIRE talent agency where her husband works. Mmm-hmm, talking about:
"I found out today that MY husband of almost 9 yrs has been having an affair for 5 yrs with some slut in Chicago. I am devastated!!!! And I have been duped!! Our boys don't deserve this!"

JUST LIKE THAT.

I gotta say, it's been a bad run for unfaithful men over the past seven months. And sure, I'd like to be optimistic about the situation. Cause you know, not everyone has to put his hand on the fire to figure out that it burns. But it's just... I mean honestly? Interns, waitresses, low budget internet porn stars, party promoters and your homeboy's fiancee? It's a lot. Le sigh.

Jesus be the secret bank account in your mama's maiden name.


And this right here is why I love me some Mitzi: She's a fool all day, er' day—and she always gives it straight, no chaser. Check out more of Mitzi's musings HERE at Mitzi Moments or check her out on Twitter at @mitzimoments.


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7 comments:

  1. I've been baffled by why these men have cheated, and how many times they've cheated! Their wives are stunningly beautiful, talented women. Why cheat?

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  2. There's one more, now. Larry King is about to have his 8th divorce! Supposedly he was cheating with his wife's sister. WTH??

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  3. See, this mess just goes to show that when people cheat, it's not usually about something the person being cheated on can do to "keep" their partner. Yep, those women are beautiful and talented, but that has little to do with their husbands' shady-grady tendencies and lack of regard for the commitment they made to each other. Hell, they even don the "It's not my fault, I'm a sex-addict" bullshi...er bullcrap, like they'd accept that excuse from any woman!!

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  4. Is it a case of having everything and appreciating nothing? Wherever this comes from, it sucks...BAD. Loved the way Mitzi was able to describe Hollywood's cheating men. Funny and sassy. Great combination!

    Oh, and how I would love to be in Miami with y'all come October, but I doubt it is in the cards for me this year. I am having our third baby in late August. October might be a bit early for travel. I'm bummed that I'll miss out on such a fantastic time. Enjoy!

    xo
    Francesca

    PS: What is this nonsense about needing to become "bikini ready"? I've seen your photos, Denene. You are already there. Don't make me hurt you. ;)

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  5. Sexually speaking, men are quick to speak about what they want in a wife (lady by day....at night). Often, they get their wish along with love, loyalty, devotion, support and much more (80/20 rule). Seems what some really want is a free pass to do whatever they want. Wonder would it be so easy breezy if the shoe were on the other foot? (Thinking out loud & SMH)

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  6. If a man is just going to cheat, why get married in the first place? It's not like the man will be respected any less for choosing not to get married. George Clooney is one of the most desired men on the planet and nary a wife to be seen (there are others, I'm sure, but he seems to be the epitome of the perpetual playboy bachelor). Don't speak those vows unless you know their meaning, respect them, and are serious about living by them.

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  7. "Jesus be the secret bank account in your mama's maiden name."

    Classic.

    Winks & Smiles,
    Wifey

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