Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Standing "O" for the Black Dad Who Threatened His Daughter's Bullies!

Yes, I know I’ve warned before that we moms should reconsider just when, where, and how we should use our Wu Tang Clan-styled Samurai word swords when someone gets out of pocket with us. Hollering on folks—especially with the kids in tow—could leave both our babies and us vulnerable to the whims and violence of crazy folk, like the African American mom who got punched, stomped and cussed out by a man at a Georgia Cracker Barrel last year after she got on him for slamming a door in her 7-year-old’s face.

But sometimes, you just gotta go there. Last week, James Jones did. Pissed that a bunch of 7th grade boys were physically and verbally harassing his 11-year-old disabled daughter—even going so far as to toss condoms in her hair—Jones stomped onto his kid’s bus and threatened to jack up er’body who could hear the words coming out of his mouth (bus driver included) if anyone even looked at his daughter crazy, much less put their hands on her again.

Now, seeing as he was cussing and threatened to “murder” children, he got arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and disturbing a school function and whatnot. But that’s a fine he says he’d be willing to pay if it means the little buzzards who were messing with his daughter know he’s coming for that ass if they ever again got outta pocket with his baby girl.

For the record, Nick and I are over here giving virtual fist bumps and standing “O’s” to Mr. Jones for being a helluva father and taking control of this whole bullying nonsense. Kids are being harassed and beat down and bullied to the point of suicide—all too many of them choosing extremes (harm to themselves, harm to others) rather than wait on the adults to do what needs to be done to put the bullies in their place and make the schools be accountable to the innocents. Remember Jaheem Herrera and Carl Walker-Hoover? 

Our kids need to know that their daddies have their back. And it is not lost on us that this is an African American father who stood up for his child—a man who, like us, gets really tired of the relentless “black fathers aren’t involved or are non-existent” meme that slaps at black dads at every turn.

And for the idiot “expert” at the end of the video who suggests the father was wrong and made his daughter feel weaker and helpless by taking charge of the situation rather than giving her the tools to handle the bullies on her own: Let’s put his daughter on a bus with a bunch of billy badasses and see how “empowered” she feels to have to handle that crap on her own. I bet you he’d be out there on the bus stop tomorrow morning with his Louisville Slugger, too. Trust me on this.

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  1. While I'm not a parent, I am a daughter and I know how a daddy's love can empower a girl. I respect Mr. Jones for getting on that bus and addressing those kids and their insensitive attitudes. We need more parents to step up for their kids to prevent fights and self harm that occurs as a result of the low self esteem these kids develop. I don't agree with his methods (threatening to murder anyone is never a good idea), but I fully understand his madness. And I commend him for taking action.

  2. A-freakin-MEN. And let's be clear, this dad DID try to do the right thing by going to the school first. They did nothing. At that point, what was he supposed to do? Although I am disgusted with the parents of the bullies, trying to act like their children were somehow the victims, I must say that I am rather pleased with the commentary I am seeing on various blogs and news postings on this story. Seems like everyone is on Mr. Jones' side.

  3. Ha! I blogged about this very same subject today and made it known that I support that father 100%. I may not have threatened the kids but Lord knows the "crazy black mom" would have come out. Listen, it is our duty to protect our children. This man wasn't seriously going to hurt those kids. He was pissed. And I an almost guarantee the school knew and didn't do a damn thing about it . And then you wonder why kids come to school and go on a shooting spree. it is imperative that we protect our children as well as teach them how not to be bullies as well. This man should not be facing charges and I'm giving a virtual fist bump too. Long as he didn't touch any of those kids (and he didn't) then he had a right to protect his daugther...disabled or not.

  4. Watching this video drives me nuts!!At the beginning they say the police say he didn't go about taking care of the problem in the right way. What would be the right way??? Going to the district? (I guess maybe he has tried that...) We have been shown time and again our school districts have no idea how to handle bullying. Period. If they did, kids wouldn't be committing suicide or harming themselves in other ways to cope. Hooray for this father showing his daughter that no one has the right to treat her that way. Shame on that bus driver for being to only adult present in the situation and allowing it to happen in the first place.

  5. All I can think of when I read this is "that's exactly what my husband would've done." Except he may have pulled a Madea and actually manhandled one of those boys instead of just cussing them out.

    My daughter told us during the first week of school that some little boy on the bus had called her ugly because of her hair (it fell out because of chemo for leukemia). My husband was ready to handle it then, but I advised him to reserve that for a more serious situation. We just gave her a pat on the back for brushing off his insult. She knows she's beautiful on the inside.

    But if anyone had put their hands on our daughter? I can't say I'd be surprised if my husband went off — especially after the school did nothing when told about the situation.

  6. I can't believe the coincidence of our posts on bullying...mine of the cyber kind. Parents definitely need to be protective and mindful of what goes on in their kids lives. Thankfully this girl spoke up, read about how none of my kids did!

  7. I agree that the father did the right thing by getting involved (however I would have said things a bit differently). With that aside, as a very-soon-to-be father, I know that I would want to protect my child if a bullying situation was getting out of hand. What the video doesn't say is what kind of discussion the father and his daughter had before he got involved. Maybe she asked him for help or indicated that she couldn't handle it. In that case - yes - get involved! It saddens me to see other bullying situations when parents react AFTER their child has killed themselves and/or others.

    Bullying is a growing epidemic in America (and around the globe) and we do need to equip our kids so they can deal with the situation. The bullying expert at the end of the video was right to talk about finding a way to deal with the bully, the bullied and the bystander. It is a complex problem that we all need to address instead of turning a blind eye to. Our kids are suffering because of our inability to act.

    I've made it my business to get involved by writing a teen fiction novel that's geared for middle/high school students. "Speedsuit Powers" tackles the bullying issue head on and seeks to provide alternatives and solutions. Feedback shows that parents, teachers and kids are reading the book and having discussions about it. My hope is that discussions will lead to action and to change.

    If you're interested in finding out more, you can go to www.speedsuitpowers.com

  8. That's right on target, Denene. Black men get so much flak for doin' wrong, we need to give brothers some applause for protecting their families.
    Also, I want to say that Denene Millner is one beautiful woman.

  9. I blogged about this same bullying topic a while ago after that young Irish girl committed suicide after being bullied in school. I have no time for it and if the school cannot immediately put an end to the nonsense, then it is up to me to protect my children. I have a mentality like a wild animal when it comes to my kids, you can't go taunting and teasing a lion cub-you won't mess with mine either. He was dead on! Condoms? You've got to be kidding me.


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